Those of you who practice family law know that one of the major difficulties in a troubled marriage is the sexual relationship. It may either be a cause or consequence of marital discord, usually the latter. Suffice it to say that work with a client affected with this type of problem is highly emotional, demanding understanding, discretion, and empathy. His or her reconciliation or ability to adapt to a divorce might be at stake. In an adversarial arena, this topic can be very painful and should be brought up only as a last resort and then only after serious consideration of the long-term best interests of the individuals and family.

One example of a sexual disorder frequently found with unhappy couples is Dyspareunia. This is a sexual disorder in which there is a recurrent or persistent pain associated with sexual intercourse. This can occur in both men and women. It is not due to lack of lubrication or a general medical condition. Unfortunately, the affected individual may feel guilty about not performing. He or she then finds ways to avoid intimate contact altogether. This only serves to worsen an already deteriorating relationship.

Professional help is required to assess whether this problem stems from the individual, the relationship, or both. Seldom if ever is anyone to blame for these difficulties unless there has been a history of abuse and/or humiliation. Rather sexual interest wanes when closeness, intimacy, love and affection wane.