Motherhood is still the most respected role in our society. It brings great pleasure and fulfillment. However, it also brings a significant amount of stress. This is particularly true for the new mother. She tends to have high expectations of herself and little experience with her new role.

Many new moms feel that they may be giving up a significant amount of freedom. This will only be true if they define their role in a very restrictive way. Remember it is the quality rather than the quantity of time spent with children that relates to their well-being. It is fine to delegate responsibilities of child care to dad, siblings, or a competent child care worker. Also remember that children are not as fragile as they look. They are relatively adaptable and can adapt to parental schedules. Each and every cry does not require a response.

New moms need to accept their limitations. Some are more patient than others. Some are more anxious than others. You may not want to breast feed but bottle feed. This is fine. You may not particularly like bottle-feeding. Ask dad to help. As the child grows older, you do not have to pack all the lunches, read stories every night, tuck your child into bed. Do what you feel comfortable doing. There is not one right way of parenting. Remember, two parents are always better than one. Insist on dad’s assistance particularly when you are tired or burned out. Do not be afraid or guilty about reversing roles. It will not harm the child if mom is the breadwinner and dad is the househusband. You may want to try this role out on weekends.

Also remember that society has not caught up with the changing roles of mothers. It has been an economic necessity for wives to work and over 50% of women hold jobs. Yet, it has become increasingly difficult to find competent child care. Most employers do not offer or compensate for such services. It literally required an act of Congress to obtain leave for birthing and only with relatively large companies. So don=t expect to receive much assistance. That is why it is so important to accept dad as a partner in this enterprise of parenthood.

Sometimes particularly tired or anxious new mothers may have feelings that they find unacceptable. It is normal to occasionally resent your responsibilities or to wish you were some place else rather than at home taking care of your child. It is only when these feelings become frequent and/or overwhelming that it is considered abnormal. Please, do not blame yourself. If this occurs, it is a sign that you must make some changes in your current responsibilities. If anxiety or depression linger it is essential that you consult with a Clinical Psychologist.